by kindred | Mar 26, 2015 | Uncategorized
Looking back it’s not easy to remember what we thought it would be like when the decision to apply for a license to provide foster care was made. The physical aspects of it were certainly understood. We were going to take infants, usually from the hospital, until they were placed for adoption or taken by the birth mother. That this would include feedings during the night at about two hour intervals was obvious. We might not have realized there would be times when we had two babies at once, which pretty much eliminated sleeping. However taking care of a child that need to be loved and cuddled, and are completely dependent on you transcends the need for sleep. They return love without reservation. They expect you to be there when they are hungry, frightened, and ,uncomfortable, and it is a privilege to be there for them. Holding them in the middle of the night when the world is silent is a unique feeling. When we brought the infant home it was like bringing our own home, in spite of the fact that it was many years later and our children were grown and independent. However we did not think about how much it was going to hurt when it was time to let them go. The most common question we are asked is; “How could you let them go?” Our answer was usually. “We had about eighty over twenty years and the house isn’t big enough.” The second usual answer was; “They all grow up to be teenagers.” It is easier to joke than to dwell on the fact...
by kindred | Mar 10, 2015 | Uncategorized
Adoption runs deep and doesn’t stop at the adoptee - it goes beyond them. I’m not an adoptee, but I have gone through similar experiences. I want to really emphasize the word similar because I will never be able to understand an adoptee because I’m not an adoptee, but I am a child of an adoptee – and have grown up in the adoptee community. My dad is Tim Holm who is a Korean adoptee from the first generation of adoptees and has been a prominent leader in the Korean adoptee community (although he disagrees on this) and my mom is Kim Holm, a Korean woman who has also been involved in the community due to being married to my dad, and has realized that my dad being an adoptee also affects her, making her a part of this community. Because of my parents, I started to also get heavily involved in the Korean adoptee community from being just a member of the community to being involved in the planning for various international events. I have worked with the International Korean Adoptee Association (IKAA), an organization co-founded by my dad, since 2009 as well as planning and directing our local Korean adoptee camp for teenagers here in Seattle with Korean Identity Development Society (KIDS). I’ve come to really enjoy what I do for this community because it is a part of me. But it hasn’t been easy…well nothing in life is ever easy, but I’ve had my share of discrimination experiences. I’ve grown up a little differently from other Korean kids in my neighborhood and the Korean adoptees I’ve...
by kindred | Mar 3, 2015 | Uncategorized
I’ve always wanted to be a mother. But I never thought that adoption would be an intrinsic part of my journey through motherhood. I’ve always wanted to write books. But I never got down to writing them until I found bigger reasons to write besides liking words. Life unfolds in unexpected ways and with that, the question marks pop up. Why must this happen to me? Why is my life like this? Stories are a wonderful way of dealing with these curveballs. And this is why I decided to write adoption stories for my toddler son, Christian, with The Adventures of Squirky the Alien. It’s a six-book illustrated series (the 3rd book is just about to be launched) about a blue alien boy called Squirky, who travels around space with his adoptive sister Emma, looking for his birth parents. Along the way, Squirky meets challenges. But by overcoming these hurdles, he discovers more about himself as well. This book series is also my way of letting Christian know that should there come a day when he wants to find out more about his origins, we will support his search. It’s something my husband and I are committing to now because we do know how emotionally intense it will be when the actual time comes. We’re from Singapore, and in this part of the world, adoption is still regarded as slightly taboo because blood ties are highly valued. Most adoptions here are closed, and many adoptive parents are often advised by family and friends not to disclose that their children are adopted. There is the fear that once the children...
